


Bucky the Elf

by bladesummonerv



Category: Elf (2003), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Christmas, Cuddling & Snuggling, Gen, High Levels of Sugar Consumption, Insomnia, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:29:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28237737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bladesummonerv/pseuds/bladesummonerv
Summary: A failed Winter Soldier clone escapes Hydra, elves find him, name him after his Bucky Bear, and then release him into New York City to find Steve, who is already looking for his Bucky.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 3





	Bucky the Elf

**Author's Note:**

> Instead of rehashing Elf jokes, I've assumed you've seen it or culturally osmized it and know them all already.  
> My only big disclaimer is when Bucky starts having video game opinions, pretend that they are all correct, because as an elf he knows about video games, it's just that as a human I do not. And I am so blessed for that.

A baby was sleeping in his crib on an early winter night, at the end of a row of tubes giving off faint green light, when his eyes beheld a bear-y sight. It was Santa's bear, so Santa ended up taking both of them back to the North Pole.

Bucky Bear was its name, embroidered on its foot. And of course, kids have their names written on their toys in case they get lost at someone's house, so the Elves named the baby Bucky.

Then they just all forgot Bucky was there because he wasn't even a good elf, like at all, big and slow. Being forgotten is better than being bullied or actively ostracized. Bucky ended up much closer to those little claymation animals and snowman than anyone else, except they didn't talk back in this one. Polar Bear was like a brother to Bucky, who ended up becoming a lumberjack or something, out in the woods, the multi-leveled candycane forest. Until Santa came and showed him a picture of Steve and Peggy dressed like hippies. "Isn't this your best friend?"

"Uh." 

So Bucky and his little friends and also Polar Bear who was big, not little, started on their quest to get to New York, and then they sat at the edge of the ice while Bucky floated away, and the puffin sniffled. He marched and floated and hitchhiked all the way to New York City without saying a word. Also he was emo, so you have to imagine him in, like, a cool black vest with some knives and stuff. Long hair. Lumberjack beard. Black eyes. You can be emo and like Christmas, alright?

He fit right in back East. He simply kept his head between his ears. He took someone's hat and kept his head in that. He wasn't impressed by anything, he didn't let anyone follow him, and he didn't take any stupid flyers. He knew that trick. Some teenagers zeroed in on him, though, and told him to go back to Hot Topic. So to spite them he went somewhere else. 

He was immune to advertising, he was immune to escalators, he was immune to fruit spray. I mean it didn't kill him, it tasted like it should have killed him. 

"Hm." He hadn't been impressed by anything in New York, and he certainly wasn't impressed by these Christmas decorations. Absolutely none of it was right.

"What's your problem." Zooey Daschenel said, when she caught him glaring. 

"What's yours? These snowflakes are ugly as ****."

"Yeah, well, my boss." She said, unfolding one and moving on to ruin the next folded up triangle... of printer paper.

"Yeah well your boss sucks. Let me do it."

"I don't think I'm allowed."

"I won't tell." He said, and she smiled. "Don't you have tissue paper?" He said.

"Don't sue us if you cut yourself." She threatened.

"Alright, sorry. I'm not even good at Christmas stuff. But those are dull anyways."

"I mean."

"Your boss gave you dull scissors to cut out a grueling amount of ugly snowflakes."

"Capitalism, bro." She said.

"Uh-huh. Here."

"Woah!"

"This is sharper. It'll last a little while. I'll come back, okay? Here. I promise. I'm trying to help."

Well folks, she would not take Bucky's knife, and in fact he got chased out of Gimbles. 

Anyways, time to find that Steve person, I guess. The front desk asked him who he was, but he got shy and just tried to go in through the window, which was much harder than on TV. 

Shy again, pretty sure he didn't know this Steve person at all, he hung around in the bedroom and went through Steve's stuff. None of it was very illuminating. He had a bunch of sketchbooks with really nice drawings. And one of the pages made Bucky stop because it had a drawing of him. It was kind of creeping him out, honestly, it wasn't like looking in a mirror or at a cartoon, it was like looking through someone's eyes. And Bucky just wasn't ready for that. He didn't know Steve, but his chest was tight.

"Oh ****, sorry. Sorry." Bucky put the sketchbook down and shut it. He'd been caught by the man himself. Steve, yellow light shining over his shoulders.

He put his hands up. "It's okay. It's okay. Bucky?"

"Oh." 

"Yeah, you're Bucky." Steve said, like it might be news to him. Steve seems like a real sweetheart. Also he was huge. Maybe bigger than Bucky. "Sam!" Steve called, and then motioned for Bucky. "Come here, come on."

Steve was acting all weird, but then when Bucky stood up from the foot of the bed which he'd ended up sitting on to look in the sketchbook, Steve hugged him and swept his feet off the ground and laughed. Bucky was not going to be the first one to break it off, and Steve seemed amenable to holding him forever. "Oh you're a really good hugger." Bucky squeaked.

Steve let him go, jostling them a little, but kept a hand on his arm. Bucky was crying you see, and Steve wiped his cheek with his thumb.

"Oh, wow, well there you go." Sam came to see what had surprised Steve.

"Hi! Hi Sam." Bucky said.

"Yeah, that's Sam."

"Hello." Sam grinned at him, so Bucky went to give him a hug too. And Sam also gives good hugs.

The elves had been proud to be merry and cheerful, but they weren't that merry about him. New York was proud to be jaded and curt, and that had been fun until nightfall. 

"You okay?" Sam said.

"Yeah, just emotional." Steve said. Bucky nodded. "Bucky." He said, just to be saying it, I think.

"Close your window." Bucky went back to fix it, and then they went to the living room.

Steve could not stop smiling. Bucky leaned against the side of the couch, but they told him to sit, so he did. "Are you okay? H..." Steve blurted.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

"But wh... Did you, are you okay, are you cold, do you need anything, want anything?"

Bucky shrugged. "Hot chocolate."

"Oh! Well okay. Sam?"

"Too early for that. I'd take more coffee, though." Sam handed Steve his mug. "So, how do you feel?" He asked Bucky.

"I feel really great."

"Good."

"Anything we should know?"

"Santa's gonna be at Gimbles tomorrow."

"Oh." Sam said. "Anything about you?"

"I'm just here for a laugh." Bucky said, and that shocked Sam into giving him one.

"You're gonna stay?"

"Well, I like you guys, you're different." Bucky was shy again. Stay? Like, forever? He hadn't thought that far.

Sam smiled and fidgeted his wrist. "Yeah."

"Alright. Here ya go, Buck." Steve was finished crying. That's good. He was not finished smiling about Bucky 'Buck' Bear and that made Bucky so happy in turn. "And here ya go Sam."

"Is that really my name?" Bucky said. What were the fucking chances? 

"Well, it was James. James Buccanon Barnes. But we called you Bucky."

"Oh. Barnes is better." Bucky said to himself. Better than Bear, I mean. 

"You like Barnes?" Steve said.

"Oh, I dunno. Bucky is fine." 

"Hey, we were gonna go for lunch, do you want to come?" Steve said.

"We can just stay here. It's not important." Sam said.

"Uh, yeah, whichever." Bucky said.

"I mean, are you okay to go out? In a crowd?"

"I'm learning my social cues. Don't give knives to girls you just met."

"Uh, yeah!" Sam said. "Please tell me you didn't try to kill anyone."

"Of course not."

"That's the most important social cue." Sam said.

"I know."

"He knows. He's been--he's been you know just." Steve motioned his hand around.

"Exploring."

"I know, Steve." Sam said.

"Exploring?" Steve said.

Bucky shrugged. "Well I was looking for you. I think we're friends..."

"Yeah. Until the end of the line."

"Lines don't end."

"Exactly." Steve sat between them and put his arms around them. 

"I like this." Bucky said!

"Aw." Steve loves them.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"So what are you thinking." Steve looked over his menu.

"Chicken cesear." Sam said. "Parmsean."

"Here's your drinks." The waitress gave them their coffees.

"Strawberry pancakes." Bucky said. 

"Yeah, okay. How's your metabolism?" Steve put three pink sugars in, and Sam put one. So Bucky put four. "Yeah, I had a feeling." Steve drew some meaning out of Bucky loving sugar. "You look good."

"Mm-hm."

"Well, I was thinking of a club, and eggs and hash browns."

"Double dipping." Sam observed.

"People get confused at me for ordering two sandwiches."

"I'll order your sandwich, if you get me banana pancakes also." Bucky said.

"Ooh, you won't like that, Buck, bananas are different."

"Everything is different."

"Alright. Are you sure you don't want more protein forward something?" Steve said, too delicate to make a coherent sentence.

"No." Bucky said. "Protein isn't real."

"Oh." Sam said.

"Meat, Bucky."

"Eh. Yuck."

"Okay, no meat. It's your body." 

"No meat."

"No meat."

They ate. Ladies and gentlemen, I don't think it was a good idea to eat two different kinds of pancakes. I mean New York has normal good bananas, but maybe Steve's two sandwiches theory was sound. Not that he actually followed it. He'd sold himself on the hashbrowns. They looked pretty good.

"I still need to get Assassins Creed." Sam laughed hopelessly. "For my nephew." He clarified for Bucky.

"Which?" Bucky said. "III or IV? Or Syndicate probably. Assassins Creed 1? That doesn't run on the PS4, but I'd go for Grand Theft Auto 5 not Assassins Creed 1 if you're just buying games. Aw, sorry." He said. Sam had settled his face into his arms folded on the table. Bucky sort of wanted to copy him.

"Wh..." Steve said.

"I think III." Sam said.

"Oh, that one's pretty good. Yeah, lemme think." Bucky didn't actually know where they sold games, he just knew how to burn them on the disk and put the box art on it. "Uh wait, but Christmas is this week?"

"We're all a little bit of workoholics. He still cares." Steve said.

"I care. And I want him to be happy."

"We better find that game then." Bucky stood up.

"No, Bucky, we still need to pay. Wheredja learn all of that?" Steve said.

"Work. When I was younger-ish."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Bucky shrugged. "It wasn't that bad. I just was, you know, bad at it." He held up his stupid lazy clumsy hands.

"Oh Bucky." Steve stood to hug him. "Wait. You." Steve pulled back and held both of Bucky's hands. 

"Huh, wow." Sam said.

Steve looked at Bucky. "Bucky." He said.

"Yes?"

"Bucky." He said, differently.

"Yeah. Steve, Sam." Bucky.

Steve looked at Sam, who was sitting up and staring, and who shrugged at him.

"Do you think we should take him to Tony?"

"What." Sam said.

"You got your arm back." Steve said.

"Was it missing?" Bucky looked at his own left hand.

"Maybe that's good?" Sam said.

"Well, I know it's good." Steve said. I swear to God he was expecting Bucky to only have one arm or something. He wasn't THAT bad of a lumberjack.

"Here's your check."

"I got it."

"I got it."

Steve and Sam argued and it made Bucky anxious. "Sam, I got it." Steve insisted.

They went on their way. "Might as well try Gamestop." Bucky said.

"Yeah, reasonable." Sam said.

"What?" Steve said.

"For my game. It'll be quick."

"Oh! No, I just forgot."

"Well of course you forgot, you're in the wrong generations to care about video games. Hey Bucky--uh, you don't mind talking about games, right?"

"I can tell you anything you want to know."

"But it doesn't..."

"Nope. Some things I was really good at. Knowing things."

"Okay. I was just gonna ask what a good game for Steve would be. Since he didn't even have Pong."

"We had GAMES." Steve said.

"What. For Pong I guess Pac Man or Puzz Loop 2. For just video games in general... I mean...." Bucky looked at Steve. Steve thought he knew Bucky. It was probably rude to pretend not to know people you know, even though Bucky sincerely didn't know him. "Oblivion is alright."

"Oblivion." Sam said. He'd forgotten about it. He was a FPS guy, I bet, he wasn't a kid anymore. All he knew was Skyrim.

"Well, I'll try it." Steve said, and Bucky stared at him and he smiled.

"Uh huh." Sam said. 

Gamestop was horrible. Maybe Bucky DID hate crowds or whatever Steve was on. But they got it. Also Bucky threw up some of the pancakes. At Gamestop.

They went home and Bucky took a nap, but he woke up feeling worse, and Steve and Sam argued about whether he should be allowed to try another nap.

"Well, how much sleep do you get a night?" Sam said.

"3 hours."

"Hours?"

"180 minutes. 848... 10800 seconds. You're right, Sam, 10800 is sort of a waste of a lot of seconds."

"I am not!" Sam changed his tune. "Go to sleep. You need 6 hours."

"Boring, that sucks. That's not true. No way I don't want to."

"Bucky. People usually do sleep 6 hours every single night. How long have you been getting--" Steve cut himself off, at the same time Bucky made a noise, so then Bucky was talking, "3 the whole time. Well sometimes the sun is up all day and night."

"Maybe they froze him on missions?" They mumbled to each other. 

"You don't want to get frozen." Out there in the candycane forest, you just don't want to get frozen. And it's bad, because no matter what, you sweat when you're working, because the inside of you is hot and your muscles get hot when you're chopping bark, but the sweat is not helpful for snowing. 

"Sorry, you probably don't need to think about that." Steve said.

"Why don't you like to sleep?" Sam said.

"I mean. What do you like to do?" 

"What?" 

"We went birdwatching." Steve said.

"Oh. That doesn't work. Well I mean you could watch bats or read about them. Or watch TV or make toys. This place is a wreck, for example, if we stayed up late it could look so much better, there's shops that are open all night."

"Alright. Trying to do stuff for me. I can clean my own house." Steve said, fondly.

"Not clean. Decorate."

Steve laughed, but Sam jumped on him with Bucky, "You could stand to be more festive." And Steve laughed a little more. 

"Alright, alright. Before you leave, we can all, I don't know, hang stuff." Steve said.

"Lights. Tinsel. It needs more sparkle. Make you feel warm even though it's cold cold cold." Bucky said.

"Yeah Steve, make your place more warm." Sam said.

"Alright. ARE you cold, Buck?"

"My socks aren't wet."

"Fresh cloths. A shower. You'll feel so much better." Steve towed him to the bathroom and then back to his room to pick out pajamas and then BACK to the bathroom. 

"You have to tuck me in." Bucky said, and ended up talking Steve into staying and cuddling.

Big hypocrits, Steve and Sam woke up super early to run, and then Bucky couldn't sleep, so he made them spaghetti for when they came back.

"This is what spaghetti tasted like in the old days." Sam said. 

"No." Steve said.

"Bye, Sam. I love you." Bucky hugged him while Steve took his bags out of the taxi. Sam had family to visit, but he was coming back next week for New Years.

"Do you really know me?" Bucky said on the taxi drive back. "I don't feel like I do."

"Yeah." Steve sighed. "It's your memory. But since you have the serum, your brain might have a chance to heal."

"Okay." And people say that Bucky is always talking nonsense. Maple serum.

"You don't have a tree." Bucky said. "You're too workaholic to have a Christmas tree?"

"I guess so. Everyone is having the ones out of boxes, and I know that's probably more cost-effective and better for the environment, but I don't have one, yet, and, and yeah. My apartment is weird."

"Oh." 

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

"I dunno."

"Alright. Can I see your hand again?" Steve said.

"I guess." Bucky said, and Steve just held his hand like on TV. 

They went to visit this guy Tony, who wasn't happy to see Bucky, and he had some really cool robots, and he sent some blood of Bucky's downstairs, and yep, Bucky was Bucky. And listen, marshmallows, cotton balls, it really only matters if you're there for the sugar or the chewiness. There are upsides and downsides to either one. Steve made Bucky stop, though.

Tony put a hat on just to throw it on the ground. "So no arm?"

"Alright Tony. We will see you tomorrow." Steve threatened.

"Christmas Eve." Bucky smiled.

"I'll be nice. Yeah, Christmas Eve. What do you want." Tony said.

"Potato clock." Bucky said, and Tony laughed.

"I can make that happen." Tony said. 

"He can make anything happen." Steve said, voice flat. Tony winked at Bucky anyway.

OKAY, so Santa crashed because there's no Christmas spirit, and Bucky tried to get the sled under control, but fuck if that was gonna work, and they did end up in central park, and when they landed, as good as they could which wasn't good, they bumped and jolted around, and Bucky landed on Santa's bag, and the bag grunted.

It wasn't that Bucky'd softened and rounded in these few days, but the Bucky that came out of the bag was very scary looking compared to what Bucky might have expected. They fought over which one was real. The Winter Soldier saw the picture of Steve and Peggy and got really mad. He made such a pest of himself that Bucky just gave up TEMPORARILY on Santa and took the Winter Soldier back to Steve's place.

Steve was in church which is good because Bucky had to fix the Winter Soldier up--he looked a mess--so he could cuddle Steve TONIGHT ONLY while Bucky helped Santa, and maybe that would calm him down.

"No. All the nights. He's Steve and you're not real."

"I'm obviously real." Bucky said, and threw a very real punch, that the Winter Soldier caught in his left hand. "Ow!"

"No." They started fighting again, and they knocked over the big sexy tree that Bucky'd found for Steve, and also broke the lamp and coffee machine and horse radish jar and pickled cucumbers jar and pickled eggs jar-- "Stop wasting glass." 

"Get out." Bucky threw him down and he hit his head and cut his face and got covered in vinegar.

"I'm already busy! I'm going back to Central Park! We have to do this later!!! There's only one Christmas a year and it's going to be ruined forever." And Bucky couldn't get the window open, and I think the Winter Soldier was about to break it and throw him out.

"Yes, I'm here early." A woman let herself in and then glared at them. "That's new."

"NATASHA?" The Winter Soldier said, and Bucky escaped his grip and ran out the door, and they both chased him.

"Get back here, you're hurt." Natasha demanded.

"Keep going, hemorrhage out." The Winter Soldier said, and then he and Natasha started fighting.

It was definitely worse than it looked, and it was pretty dark in Central Park, so it didn't even look that bad, but the evil horse police were here, so really Bucky couldn't be seen at all.

"Bucky!" Steve appeared.

"Yeahyeahyeah, here, hit the gas when I tell you." Bucky pulled Steve into the seat and dove to the back underneath the sleigh to look at the engine.

"Natasha said she let herself in and she's sorry for startling you. Why'd you ran away?"

"Uh. Wait. Well, _I_ was running because I have to help Santa."

"Say again?"

"The clausometer."

"That's a different thing than what you just said and also it--claus like Santa Claus?"

"Yes! I'm not the real Bucky, I'm Santa's son from the North Pole, but I look just like the real Bucky, and I think I'm in love with you. Oh no he took the picture! I had a picture of you. I swear. Steve."

"Relax, Jesus you're not making SENSE Bucky. Oh here." One of the reindeer had wandered back, and Steve pulled him into the seat, "Hit the gas when we say," and dove back with Bucky. "What are we looking at?"

Bucky explained the engine and clausometer.

"I dunno, Buck, you're the mechanic and I'm the artist."

"Not helpful."

"You just need people to believe in Santa?"

"We need Christmas spirit."

"Well what is that, what does that MEAN Buck, that's nothing!"

"Christmas spirit! The spirit of Christmas."

"Oh, whatever Buck. I'll just go fillibuster with NO back-up."

"WH--Captain America?" Bucky squeaked. "Whaddja do with Steve?"

He rolled his eyes. "Give me that later, Buck." And ran toward the big tree.

"The singing thing! The thing I say about singing! Go sing!"

"I got it, Buck!" Captain America was annoyed with him.

Bucky sung to Donner who was still in the driver's seat, and tried to figure SOMETHING out. Of course he sort of WAS a mechanic, because Santa had showed him some of this last year. Everything resolved incredibly fast, I suppose due to Captain America, Bucky got the sleigh to Santa and caught back up with Steve, and they taxi'd back to Tony's.

"Wait. But Natasha was at your place."

"She goes to places, she doesn't always make sense. I don't think she was expecting anyone to be... In my place." At the end, Steve decided he was worried about her mysterious ways.

"She had a surprise present maybe."

"Oh, yeah, maybe. Or maybe she wanted to check on her bugs in my bedroom."

"Bugs?"

"I'm kidding Bucky, jeez." Steve said. And Bucky thought of the other Bucky--the Winter Soldier had to be Bucky if Steve said Bucky was Bucky then he was Bucky because he looked like Bucky--who was probably duct-taped into the closet in the hallway. "Sorry." Steve said. "Just relax, we saved Christmas, now we get to have ourselves a Christmas."

"Merry little."

"Well, that song makes me cry."

"Oh."

"I totally just jinxed us! We're not going to have Christmas. Something's gonna happen." Steve groaned. As cartoonish as this little moodswing was, it sort of hurt Bucky's heart in a very sincere way.

"Nothing's gonna happen." Bucky mumbled. If leaving someone in a closet on purpose is a naughty-list-able offense, then Bucky would take that as long as Steve got to enjoy Christmas with Tony and Natasha. 

"And this is Bruce!" Steve was smiling, wrapped an arm around Bruce's shoulder. 

"That's Clint."

"And that's Thor."

"Hi." Bucky said. 

They played Just Dance. Most of it was them laughing at each other for being embarrassed to dance for each other, but Bucky got really into actually getting good timing and getting good scores and stars and unlocking stuff for Tony when he was up. And maybe THAT was cringe too, but it actually wasn't. It wasn't. It wasn't listen to me okay? It's called Just Dance. Sorry. Sorry I guess for liking games. 

"Bucky! At least finish the song, come back. Don't laugh at him, he doesn't know you."

"Okay, Jesus, Cap, I'm sorry." Tony said. 

"Sorry Bucky." Clint said.

"It's okay." Bucky didn't want to make it a big deal, so he came right back like he even knew where he could go, and Thor finished his song for him.

"We should get Bucky super drunk. I bet the Winter Soldier really really could use some Asgardian eggnog." Tony said.

"No, me and Sam already did that to him a couple nights ago. I think Asgardian booze would kill him."

"I hate Gatorade. It tastes bad." Bucky said. 

"I think we should take a walk." Natasha said after they opened presents.

"I don't know if that's a good idea." Bucky said. 

They went to Steve's place, and Bucky went in the closet, and Natasha didn't let the Winter Soldier and Bucky see each other or they would probably start fighting again. Bucky did not want Steve to have to fight the Winter Soldier.

"You don't have to actually do that." Natasha said from outside it. "After dinner, you three can reconcile."

"Oh yeah. He'll tell the difference, anyways, that Bucky is really really mean."

"He's just confused. I bet you get confused sometimes too."

"I do not!" Bucky called after her, and then went through Steve's jacket pockets.

He made some dinner, nothing at all extravagant, but he found some cranberry and oreos. He went back to Steve's room. He looked at the drawings. He could tell which ones were of the Winter Soldier and which were of Bucky. He went into Steve's closet. Steve had his bear, which was very confusing to him. He made a rocking horse and strung together a wooden Captain America doll. Like with knees and elbows. Steve had paint, but no top or bottom coat for wood.

Steve's phone rang. "Hello, this is Bucky Barnes Bear Barnes."

"Get in the closet." Natasha said.

"I'm going to go in Steve's closet."

"Fine."

"How long do I have to be in here?"

"Don't bring the phone wi--" Natasha said, but the phone machine fell off the table. Bucky brought it with him. He'd done pretty good work on the coffee machine, personally. For Steve and his refined metabolism.

Anyways, he had something to do in the closet, so it wasn't bad at all, and he wasn't even paying attention to Steve and the Winter Soldier, and Natasha who'd come back with them.

"Hello?" Captain America said to the closet door.

Bucky turned off his flashlight and put the phone machine down. "Hi."

"Hello Mx. Scrull." Steve holding a shield said, opening the door slowly.

"No, it's Bucky Barnes. Hello." 

"Oh, the phone." Steve said. "Wait. Bucky."

"So... There is two of us. You know that I'm real because Tony said so."

Steve rubbed his face. "And I know the other Bucky is real because he actually vaguely remembers me."

"You were nice to me." Bucky accidentally started crying for a non-happy reason. "I'm sorry."

"Aw jeez Buck."

"I don't want to go back. I'll-I'll," Bucky talked over him. "I'll go to Gimbles."

"No Buck--No Bucky of course we're not sending you back. Don't worry. Listen." Steve said, and just rubbed his face.

"Hmph." The Winter Soldier was here. "What's this, it's kinda cute."

"Captain America doll." Bucky said.

"Jeez." The Winter Soldier said.

"Shut up." Bucky snatched it. 

"You like him." The Winter Soldier smirked.

"Yeah Bucky, you do like me. I think I might have picked up on that when you said we'd be best friends forever in school." Steve said.

"Did he say that?" The Winter Soldier said.

"He said that he loves me." Steve said.

"Hey." Bucky said.

"Hmm." The Winter Soldier grabbed Bucky's collar and pulled him back into the closet. "Why the hell would you say that?"

"I can hear you." Steve grumbled.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Why didn't you? You only have positive emotions to share with people when you were 8?"

"Bucky, don't be mean to him, he's been through hell."

Bucky opened the door. "You can't cuss in this fic."

"YOU can't cuss." The Winter Soldier said, coming out too. "Because you're a goofball. And that's not cussing, he's just saying it like a noun."

"Oh. I'm sorry. That doesn't sound fun."

"I want to see your face bleeding again." The Winter Soldier growled.

"What! No you don't. That's horrible, Bucky." Steve said. 

"I'm completely fucked up now. Take me or leave me."

"I'm not leaving you."

"Well, I'm about to become unemployed. Who needs an elf on December 26?" Bucky put in.

"Were you employeed here?" Steve said.

"I bet Jovie could have gotten me a job. I think the manager actually secretly liked me."

"I don't know what you're saying. Do I get your memories back, ever?" The Winter Soldier complained.

"Memories?"

"He doesn't have his memories." Steve explained.

"Why not? Oh, did you hit your head?"

"Don't--let's not." Steve said.

"Sorry." Bucky said.

"You're easier than I am." The Winter Soldier said.

"No." Steve said. It sounded pretty final. Not, like forcefully final, more matter-of-fact, like it was a matter of fact to Steve, not an argument.

They were both difficult. Bucky was always sick, and the Winter Soldier was scary. "I want to stay." Bucky said.

"Fuck it, I'll go and live at the tower. Let the doctors get at me." The Winter Soldier said. "No." Steve said. "I'll go live with Natasha." The Winter Soldier said.

"I could go with Sam." Bucky said.

"You go in the closet like an ammerilis bulb--" "No." "--and I'll go under ice." The Winter Soldier said.

"No." 

"That's real? You can really freeze people and they come back next year?"

"No." 

"No, not next year." The Winter Soldier said.

"Bucky!" Steve said.

"Forget it." The Winter Soldier said.

"Okay." Bucky said.

Steve sighed. "Come on, let's not do all this half-in-half-out of my closet."

"Can I have some hot chocolate?" Bucky said.

"Sure."

"Can I have a beer?"

"I don't know what I have."

"I don't care. I need a beer. As long as it's cold." The Winter Soldier said, and Steve smiled and laughed to himself.

"Oh, what is this?" Steve was in the kitchen.

"Oh, he threw those at me but I was wearing shoes but glass is scary so I didn't want to clean it. I fixed the coffee machine, though." 

"Don't snitch on me like that." The Winter Soldier growled.

"It's okay Buck. Both of you."

"You have my bear." Bucky said.

"What." The Winter Soldier said. 

"He has my bear, the one the elves said I liked when I was a baby and had my name on it."

"Oh fuck me it's like a Dali Lama thing." The Winter Soldier mumbled. "Well that's probably the bear they made for me after I... Died in the war, I guess. I don't know why I had to be a bear."

"Teddy bears are pretty common. You should have been a possum."

"Say that again. Come on, make my day."

"Bucky." Steve interjected, tossing him a beer. "You have to be nice to him, he's stupid."

"Hey!" Bucky said, as the Winter Soldier laughed.

"I'm glad one of us is. I feel better about myself." The Winter Soldier said.

"Bucky." Steve scolded again.

"Oh, I can't insult myself, but he can call me a possum?"

"Possums are cute and Theodore Roosevelt liked them and he was the Teddy Bear guy." Bucky said.

"Do I look like Theodore Roosevelt? No. So what do I care about possums? I don't eat garbage, my teeth aren't ugly, and I don't have rabies."

"I do. Anyways, you're the one who asked why you're a bear."

"Well, I want to be a wolf or something."

"Wolves aren't cute."

"And bears are." The Winter Soldier asked.

"Yeah, of course. Polar Bear."

.

"Well, that was quite a day." Steve gave them both pajamas.

"I think yesterday was quite a day." Bucky said. "Wait. Can I have my picture back."

The Winter Soldier looked at him like they were about to have an argument about it. "It was mine first." Bucky tried.

"Is the real thing not good enough?" Steve said. No, he looked different in the picture. "Maybe I can make a copy. Tony, he could probably put it on nice paper, he probably knows how." 

"Okay. Well, I'll keep it until then. He'll probably lose it." 

"Well let me see it." Steve said. The Winter Soldier gave it to him. Steve covered his mouth. 

"Come on Steve, you can look at that later. 

Steve had forgotten to tuck him in, so Bucky laid around listening to the Winter Soldier argue with him in the hall. "Well why doesn't he?" The Winter Soldier asked, and Steve's voice was too quiet. "Hydra? I never saw him." He said. They were both quiet and mumbly for a moment. "Why?" The Winter Soldier demanded, and Steve answered quietly.

"What... Are you sneaking out?" Bucky woke up and the Winter Soldier was at his window.

"Buck. Don't worry about it." Steve said at the door-frame.

"The hell do you have so many windows for?"

"I don't know." Steve said.

"Whatever. Well I'm just checking it." The Winter Soldier muttered.

"Thanks." Bucky mumbled, and the Winter Soldier glanced at him before pacing around for a minute.

"Steve. You have to tuck me in." Bucky said before they left.

"Why." The Winter Soldier said.

"We're past that on most of it. It's just nice." Steve said, coming over.

"It's just nice." Bucky said. 

"Who sent you here." The Winter Soldier demanded.

"Santa."

"Santa was here." Steve explained. The Winter Soldier shook his head and dragged Steve away with him.

"Merry Christmas." Bucky said after them. It took forever for him to sleep, so he just got up and went to find Steve. He was on the couch, which was weird. He stared at Bucky. "Here," Bucky said, "Sit up?" And he got Steve to lay his head on his thigh. 

"Oh." The Winter Soldier came out later and sighed, and came over and wedged himself between Steve and the couch like a cat. 

"Alright, jeez." Steve said, scooting up more against Bucky, who'd leaned back and had his head against two cushions.

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas.  
> Steve does the "Hey Buck can I see your hand? Now we're holding hands." To the real Bucky and he, like, starts crying about his arm not being a weapon anymore. Okay, I didn't see any other fics like this in the Elf crossovers tag, but THAT has probably definately been done before.  
> Oh also, the polar bear, puffin, and snowman are like, voice-acted by Steve, Sam, and Natasha in the fake RPF behind the scenes. You know.. They put salt in Steve's coffee which he had on Boxing Day after Bucky re-built the coffee machine, to get a more candid reaction. The reindeer who played Donner kept trying to lick Steve's hair which was done really meticulously since he'd just been at church.


End file.
